In the Opposite Direction
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Spencer Reid/Nathan Harris. "Spencer Reid may be a profiler, but he certainly doesn't know what to do with a love interest. When Nathan Harris shows up to thank him for saving his life, Spencer is happy to befriend him even though he doesn't have much of a life outside of work. He's the only one who doesn't figure out right away what's REALLY going on, though." COMPLETE.


Author's notes: Okay so I've been watching a shit ton of Criminal Minds and I just finished season 3 and I have a huge crush on Spencer Reid right? Anyway I totally ship him with both Lila (from season 1, episode 18: "Somebody's Watching") and Nathan (season 2, episode 11: "Sex, Birth, Death"). I debated which one I should write the story for and finally just chose Nathan because hey why not? So yeah this is a Spencer/Nathan story! I've seen a million and six scattered episodes of seasons 4-8 but not _all_ of them and not in order, so just keep that in mind when you're trekkin' through this short little work. I've got it placed two and a half years after Sex, Birth, and Death, so Nathan is 19 and Spence is 26. Nathan may have small OC qualities, but that's only because it's after he's "fixed" himself (because Spence meets him after he's released from the hospital), so he's not shy and "broken" and he's more confident about himself. Also picture Spence's hair the same length it is in season 3 when he has to tuck it behind his ears all the time.

ALSO. Figuring out exactly where everybody lived was literally the hardest thing, so I decided to just sort of add a few random whatever's to Quantico so they could all just live there because I didn't want to have to put Spence where I read that he apparently lives near the Van Ness Metro Station in Washington, DC and ugh idek just go with it okay. Like I spent an hour researching all of this and finally just gave up. I know there's not a subway station in Quantico after all the research, but just…just ugh I'm sorry I'm trying to write a story not researching a country. So there.

And…I think that's that! It's my first Criminal Minds story, so no making fun of me :P I've got a bunch of stories in the fandoms of the Avengers and Harry Potter too, if you're interested. Those are probably…better. Haha whatever. Enjoy! Tell me how I did at the end, too, if you wish :)

PS there are some OC characters that I've made for Nathan's new life, but they don't really come into any important play. Also for those of you who don't recognize the name of Tobias, he's the one that had the multiple personality of himself, his father, and Rafael the murderer (and then possible more) and kidnapped Spencer, wherein our favorite doctor was tortured and addicted to a form of heroine. I totally cried at that episode whoops.

* * *

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine, except Spence is in my head whoops.

**Full summary**: Spencer Reid/Nathan Harris. "Spencer Reid may be a profiler, but he certainly doesn't know what to do with a love interest. When Nathan Harris shows up to thank him for saving his life, Spencer is happy to befriend him even though he doesn't have much of a life outside of work. He's the only one who doesn't figure out right away what's REALLY going on, though." COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: Spencer/Nathan  
**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Warning/Not-warnings**: m/m pairing; smut; previous suicide attempt

* * *

Spencer stretches his arms up over his head after the most recent and very long case. They were all the way out in Oregon for the last three days, and now everyone is just sitting around in the bullpen doing their paperwork. A pair of arms suddenly wrap around Spencer, though, and their long nailed fingers wiggle against his sides in one of the worst forms of torture: tickling. He caves in on himself and literally dives off of his chair, not caring what attention is squealing attracts.

Aaron and David are in Aaron's office and Penelope is long gone to sleep, but JJ, Derek, and Emily are still around. They all laugh at him, and Spencer is good natured enough to smile up at his predator: JJ.

Emily looks like she's about to say something, but instead her gaze shifts behind all of them with her eyes widening slightly. "Oh," she says. "Reid, I think…"

Spencer turns to see who she's looking at, and—his own eyes widen. "Nathan?"

Nathan Harris was a seventeen year old sophomore at Morton School when Spencer met him just under three years ago. He was… Well, Spencer hates even thinking it, but he was disturbed. He was admitted into a hospital, and now he must be out. He doesn't look too much different. His hair is cut shorter, though the messy curls are still prominent, and the shy look he had when he first met Spencer in the subway is still there as well. He's wearing a dark blue turtleneck, black jeans, and high-top Converse—all dark colors, like Spencer remembers. Most people would look at him and see his face, but Spencer remembers almost all visual things, so remembering the long black coat he once wore and the exact length is hair was is no surprise.

Nathan gives a shy smile. "Hi."

Spencer stands, pushing his hair behind his ears. "Nathan, hi! It's been… What are—I mean, how are…" He stops, pressing his lips into a soft line. He does that when he's rambling. "Hi."

Nathan smiles growls a little. "I… I just wanted to thank you," he says. "They, uh, let me out, and…" He looks around at the others.

Spencer instantly understands his discomfort, and he looks around at his friends. "I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?"

They all understand as well, giving him their goodbyes as he quick gets all of his things together. He nods at Nathan for them to leave, and they walk silently until they step into the cool night air of late May.

"I wanted to thank you," Nathan says right away, "for stopping my…" He licks his lips and looks down at the concrete. "Suicide attempt."

Spencer nods, pushing his hair back again. "No, no, it's fine, it was my pleasure." He sounds like an idiot. He's talking about saving somebody's life as if he was dropping something off for a party. "So they let you out!" he says to somewhat change the subject.

Nathan laughs a little, looking back up at him. "Yeah. Two weeks ago."

Spencer nods again, wishing he had something more to do with his hands than play with his hair. "Almost three years, then. You're nineteen now?"

He nods. "I'm turning twenty in September. Delilah—I mean, my nurse wanted to let me out a few months ago, but I… I didn't think I was ready, so I asked her for longer. Her sister works at a coffee shop near where I live now, so they were able to get me a job, too."

Spencer smiles, deciding he should just shove his hands into his pockets. "That's great!" he says, rocking back on his heels. "Do you have your own place now?"

"Sort of," the teen says with a one-shouldered shrug. "I room with the son of Delilah's sister. It's here in this city, actually."

"Oh, really? That's great! I mean, you know, we'll probably see each other around. Which coffee shop do you work at?"

"Just a Starbucks a couple of blocks from my apartment."

Spencer nods, rocking on his heels some more. "So they released you. You're just…out and about now?"

Nathan gives him a very serious look. "I'm better, Reid. I _know_ I am. I wouldn't have let them release me if I wasn't sure. I can…" He lets out a somewhat embarrassed breath. "Thinking about hurting people like that mostly makes me sick, now, you know? I used to—I mean, the last time was about seven months ago—but I would deliberately think about what I used to so I could see if it still… You know, got me off. It didn't." He breathes a laugh, looking up at the sky. "I don't think I've ever been more relieved since realizing what I was—what I used to be."

Spencer can't remember the last time he smiled so big. He knows what it's like to be relieved. He remembers hugging Aaron and JJ when they and the others rescued him from Tobias, and he remembers how he felt when he realized that he was completely free of the dilaudid drug. "It's the best feeling ever," he says quietly.

Nathan looks back down at him with a confused face. "I—what?"

Spencer shakes his head. "The feeling of being relieved, I mean."

Nathan smiles. "Oh. Yeah. It is."

Spencer doesn't know how long they stand there in silence afterwards (okay, he does: forty-one seconds), but he eventually gets an idea:

"Hey, I know its Wednesday night," he starts, "but are you doing anything tonight? You could tell me anything else you're comfortable with about…" He trails off as Nathan is shaking his head.

"I would," the teen says, "because there's really nobody else but you that I would feel comfortable telling anything, but Delilah thought it would be good to get myself involved in…" He waves his hands, looking for a word. "Activities. It's movie night with my roommate and a few of his friends."

"Ah," Spencer says, nodding. "That's cool, you can meet new people."

He breathes a laugh, scratching behind an ear. "He and his friends aren't really my type, but at least they like me. I help a lot of them with their homework."

Spencer raises his eyebrows. "You were a high school sophomore, right? Are you going after your high school degree now?"

Nathan smiles. "I was actually able to finish high school online—with supervision, anyway. Right now I'm applying to a college back in DC. It won't be until fall quarter, so the next few months I'll just be working a lot. I won't let my mom pay for any classes, so…" He shrugs. "I make sure I call her every day."

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line. (Soft lines are different than tight ones… He does soft when he realizes he's rambling and he needs to shut up, but tight when he's forcing himself to _think_ before he speaks. Spencer knows he's a genius, but he also knows that his mouth filter is usually broken.) He writes letters to his mother every day. It's the same concept. "Can—can I give you some advice?"

Nathan tilts his head in curiosity. "Sure."

Spencer licks his lips, looking down at the concrete before looking back up. "Visit her as often as you can."

Nathan straightens his head and blinks for a few seconds before finally nodding. "I'll do my best. I'll see you around, right?"

Spencer gives a toothless smile. Those are his more genuine ones, really. He shows teeth when he's laughing. "You can stop by at any—well, maybe not. We're not actually here very often. You were lucky tonight. I could, ah, give you my number?"

Nathan nods, pulling out an old cell phone. Spencer recognizes it as the same one he had two and a half years ago. He hands it to Spencer on the contact page, and Spencer does the same with his own.

He finds himself laughing as he takes his phone back, saving Nathan's number under "N. Harris".

"What is it?" Nathan asks.

"Ah, it's nothing,' Spencer says. "Just, uh, one time some girl at a bar asked for my number while we were on a case and I gave it to her in Roman numerals."

Nathan snorts. "That's a really good idea, actually. It weeds out the ones that aren't worth it."

Spencer nods. "Exactly."

Nathan nods back, looking back up at the sky. Spencer can't help but notice that, though he's still the same person, he's completely different. He's still got those shy qualities, but he's happier. He's not scared of himself anymore.

"Anyway, I should get going," Nathan says. "My roommate is going to wonder where I am."

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. What's his name, anyway?"

"Uh, Jeffery Allen."

Spencer nods, committing the name to memory. If anybody is rooming with Nathan then their background should be thoroughly checked. He'll have to get Penelope to help him… Maybe she'll look up the roommate's mom and aunt, too.

"Do you know what movie you'll be watching?"

Nathan sighs. "Only something I've seen a thousand times."

Spencer raises his eyebrows. "What one?"

"Slither. I'm a horror movie guy. I stopped for a while, but…" He shrugs. "I think I'm okay now."

Spencer starts to speak, but Nathan continues before he can:

"You know I'll go straight back to the hospital if it starts again, Reid. You don't have to worry about me."

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line. "I held your bleeding wrists, Nathan," he says quietly. "I've worried about you for almost three years."

Nathan sighs and looks down at his feet. His fingers intertwine with each other to show his discomfort. Spencer doesn't regret saying it. It's the truth, after all.

Though Spencer is a profiler, "What type of movies do you watch?" is not exactly the answer that he expected.

"I mostly watch documentaries, sci-fi, and mysteries, but I can really watch anything. Comedies are kind of boring and horror movies are sometimes routine since… Well, unless they're involving any supernatural elements, I've lived too much of it to actually watch any."

Nathan nods, looking back up. "Slither is supernatural. I doubt you'll find alien slugs mass murdering people anywhere."

Spencer laughs. "Yeah, I doubt I would. Maybe we could, ah, hang out tomorrow? Unless I have another overnight case, anyway."

Nathan gives that shy smile again. "No, I—I'm free tomorrow night. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I work the morning shifts, but Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday I work the evening. Saturday's are free."

"I…don't have much of a strict schedule. We've got to be in to work by nine unless we're called in otherwise, and we leave whenever we manage to all get home."

Nathan nods. "You'll have to call me, then. Or text, I guess. I do both."

"Yeah, okay, whichever one is more convenient at the time."

Nathan nods again, pocketing his cell finally. "I'll, uh… I'll see you tomorrow." He points. "I live just over fifteen minutes that way. Seventeen, if the traffic is good and you want to be exact."

Spencer breathes a laugh. Firstly, seventeen is the middle number between twenty and fifteen, so it shows optimistic tendencies when Nathan says it as "just over fifteen" instead of "just _under_ twenty". Sort of like the "glass half full-glass half empty" thing. Secondly… "I live just over fifteen minutes in the opposite direction if I walk a little and also take the subway."

And with that they're off. Spencer glances over his shoulder twice, but if Nathan does at all, Spencer misses it every time.

**XxX**

Spencer spends the next morning as he usually does, eating breakfast before flitting off to the subway. He tries to take evening showers so he can sleep more in the morning, and he usually waits for his morning coffee to he had at headquarters. It does cross his mind to go get coffee from Nathan, but he has no idea _which_ Starbucks he's at, and it will also make him late to work.

_At_ work, though, he finds that all of Derek, JJ, Emily, and Penelope are waiting for him in the bullpen.

Derek smiles warmly at him and hands him a mug of coffee. "Hey," he says.

Spencer raises his eyebrows in greeting and downs half of the mug right away. "Thanks," he says.

"So, uh…" JJ says, trailing off right away.

"How's he doing?" Emily asks for her.

Spencer sighs. He tries not to sigh very often, but sometimes he just can't help it. "I think he's doing alright, actually," he says. "He said he wouldn't have allowed them to release him if he didn't think he was ready, and I believe him."

Emily crosses her arms. "Completely better?"

Spencer nods, finishing his coffee.

But that's when Aaron walks passed, waving a file at them.

Penelope sighs, taking a sip of her whip-cream covered latte. "Time for work," she says darkly.

"Do you know where we're going, JJ?" Derek asks.

The blonde nods as they all head off to the conference room. "Florida."

Emily groans. "I hate Florida."

**XxX**

Spencer drops into his chair with an _oomph_, his finally finished paperwork strewn around his desk. He's alone. He wants to call Nathan even if it's just for something to _do_, but it's late and…what if he's already asleep? He doesn't want to wake him. It's Thursday now, and Spencer remembers that Nathan has the early shift tomorrow.

He mutters incoherently even to himself and pulls out his phone to bring up the page for a new text message to send:

**It's 10 and I'm just done with work. I would say you should come over but I'm probably going to crash. Long day.**

Nathan answers almost instantly: **U have no idea how happy I am to hear that b/c I have to be to work by like 4am. Maybe tomorrow.**

Spencer scribbles on blank pieces of paper with his left hand while he replies with his right: **Yeah. Any planning ideas?**

**There's no good movies playing and u'll probably have paperwork.**

**I can put it off. I usually do. You could just bring something over. Ian kept giving me a weird look.**

**He thinks ure too skinny. We all do.**

Spencer snorts, looking down at himself. Nathan would be this skinny too if he had to sprint around with a gun. **I'm not skinny. I eat pasta.**

**I am so bringing u garlic bread. What's ur favorite movie, anyway?**

**There are too many to choose.**

**Favorite actor?**

**Still too many.**

**Ok fine whats a movie u HAVENT seen?**

**Lord of the Dance.**

**I didnt actually expect an answer to that.**

**I own it but it just sits around at my place.**

**VHS?**

**I own like 4 movies and only one is a DVD.**

**Just 4? That surprises me. How do you survive? I have like 400. I am totally not watching LotD with you. Have you seen Outbreak? Dustin Hoffman.**

**I have.**

**Fine, ure a sci-fi guy… Galaxy Quest? Alan Rickman and Tim Allen. Tim is Jeff's favorite. Bet u can't guess why.**

**They have the same last name?**

**Yup.**

**That's a dumb reason, but at least he's good. And I've seen that too, but I could watch it again if you don't mind that I mutter along with the lines.**

**I'll bring duct tape.**

**I'm just glad you didn't say "duck".**

**U do not even know how many times I have rolled my eyes since u texted me. Call me tomorrow, yeah?**

**Yeah, okay.**

Spencer doesn't care that he's smiling as he sets his phone down. He's just glad that—

"You're still here?"

Spencer yelps, spinning around with his arms held up in defense. "Hotch?" he says. "I thought you left half an hour ago."

"I came by because I forgot my phone," he says in his usual angry guy tone. "Did you stay for paperwork? You know I don't like it when you guys stay for over an hour after we get back."

Spencer nods, turning back around. "It's okay, I just got done."

"Go home and get some rest, then."

"Yeah, I'll…" He trails off, realizing something. "Hey, Hotch?"

The man turns to face him.

"Do you think it's weird for two guys to go over to one of their houses to watch a movie?"

Aaron blinks at him for a few seconds. "It depends which movie," he says at length.

"Galaxy Quest."

One of those small smiles that are so rare comes across his face. "I don't think that's weird at all."

Spencer smiles. "Good."

"Goodnight, Reid."

"Yeah, night."

**XxX**

Work on Friday goes exactly how Spencer wants it to. They all get back to Quantico at about seven, and Spencer instantly stands in a corner to call Nathan.

"Hey, you're already back?" the teen says in greeting.

"Yeah, it was an easy one today! Well…" He frowns. "Not easy. It's never easy seeing another body. But, I mean…you know what I mean."

"I do. If you want I can pick you up on my way over. It'd be less work than following directions to your place. I don't know my way around here as well as you do."

"Yeah, if you want I was going to grab some food on the way back."

"We can drive to food."

"Yeah, I—if you want to."

"'Course I want to. See you in seventeen!"

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

He's about to go sit down to get a _bit_ of paperwork done, but JJ hisses at him instead. He gets the hint and goes after her, going outside of the bullpen. "Was that Nathan?" she asks.

Spencer nods. "He's coming over to watch Galaxy Quest."

She gives that condescending confused look she's so good at. "He's going over to your place to watch a movie?"

Spencer frowns. "Hotch said it wasn't weird."

"That depends. What's the movie about?"

"Washed up TV actors who go into outer space to live the lives of their characters and battle aliens."

She smiles. "He's right. It's not weird. How old is Nathan again?"

"He's nineteen now."

"Right, so seven years apart… I heard you asked Garcia for some researching help?"

Spencer nods and holds up his hands to count people off. "His roommate, his roommate's four friends, his roommate's mom, and his roommate's aunt because she was also his nurse in the hospital."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Seven people?"

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line and nods. "I still feel somewhat…protective over him, you know? I held his wrists to stop him from bleeding out. I don't know why I can't just forget, but JJ, I…" He waves his hands around a little. "I don't want to leave him alone again."

The blonde gives a small smile. "I understand, and I think it's a good idea. Is he going to be here soon?"

Spencer frowns. "How did you know he was coming?"

"Because you've been trying to hang out for the last few days. Hurry up and get back in here to get all of your stuff together."

When Nathan finally walks in, he and Spencer say goodbye again before heading out, apologizing around laughter as they bump into each other going through the door. It's so nice being around somebody new for once… Don't get him wrong, he loves his friends in the BAU, he just likes to get away every once in a while as well.

"What are we planning for food?" Nathan asks in the car.

"I was just going to grab a pizza."

"Let me guess. A salad, too."

Spencer gives a good natured eye roll. "I don't _try_ to stay thin, I just try not to go in the opposite direction. It's not easy running after people while holding a gun if you're obese."

"You will _never_ be that fat, Spence. Trust me."

Spencer stares over at him.

"What?" Nathan asks as he parks in front of the pizza place.

"Nothing, I…you're the second person to ever call me 'Spence'."

"Really? What else do your friends call you?"

"Reid."

He wrinkles his nose up. "Your best friends call you by your last name? All of my friends have nicknames. They call me _Angel_."

Spencer purses his lips. It is kind of weird now that he's thinking about it. It's easy, though, when they're around so many people they've never met, because that way nobody gets confused on who they're talking about. "I guess we're all just used to it."

Nathan shrugs. "Whatever you say. Who else calls you 'Spence'?"

"JJ."

"The blonde?"

Spencer nods.

When they finally get to Spencer's, Nathan looks rather impressed.

"Wow," he says as he looks around. "I didn't know somewhere besides a library could _have_ this many books."

Spencer nods, dropping his things onto the couch of the living room right inside of the front door. "The guest bedroom is full of shelves." Spencer's apartment has two bedrooms, but one is full of books and his computer (old enough—since he never uses it—to give Penelope a heart attack, probably).

"Really? That's awesome."

Spencer nods, leading them off to the kitchen so that he can put the pizza in before going back and loading up the DVD that Nathan brought.

"Do you want to wait until the pizza is done before we start it?" Spencer asks

Nathan sighs, dropping onto the couch. "Yeah. I have a question."

Spencer raises his eyebrows in curiosity as he sits down on the other end of the couch. "Yeah, anything."

Nathan lets out a shaky breath. "Do _you_ think I'm better?"

Spencer gives a toothless smile. "I believe that you are because that's what you've told me, but I don't know enough about who you are now to draw a correct…" He trails off.

Nathan smiles. "A correct profile? You can profile me if you want. It's fine."

"Tell me about the last two and a half years, then. Start with how you felt about me saving you."

He looks down. "I was angry at you…"

Spencer is not usually a very good listener unless it involves his mom. He likes to interrupt with random facts about random things that are mentioned. But he listens as Nathan continues this time, because he knows how important it is. And when Nathan is done telling him about his hospital friends and nurses and medications and routines, Spencer knows that he's right. The teen is better. Maybe one day there could be a slight relapse, but right now…he's fixed. Nathan explained why his nickname is Angel (something about it being decided that an angel came into his life and saved him from his hospitalization), and it's a perfect one by Jeffery and his four friends and they don't even know the details of Nathan's hospitalization.

Spencer says as such to Nathan, and the smile that spreads across the other mans face has Spencer never happier that he listened so well.

Nathan opens his mouth to speak, but Spencer beats him to it with the frantic exclamation of "PIZZA!" since Nathan's explanation of the last few years was not _short_. He dives off of the couch to get to the kitchen oven to try and save it, but it's far too late. He lets himself sigh at the burnt mess, wishing now that Nathan had let him get a salad.

"I should have set a timer," he mutters.

Nathan laughs behind him, closing the oven before turning it off. "We can scrounge."

Spencer nods. "Pancakes, maybe. I've got some canned peaches, an—"

He cuts off when his phone rings, his lips pressing into a tight, almost angry line. He pulls it out and, yeah, it's JJ. She only calls when it involves work. She texts him sometimes, but then Spencer just calls _her_.

He just stares at the screen for a second before biting his bottom lip and holding it up to his ear. "Seriously?" he says in greeting.

JJ sighs. "Spence, I'm sorry, but—"

"I know, I know. Where?"

"Back to Oregon."

"What? We were wrong? He admitted to all of it!"

"We weren't wrong, Spence. We missed one."

Spencer sighs. He'd use a tight line but she wouldn't see it. "A partner. We never miss a partner."

"I know, but we did. Pack for a couple of days just in case. We're all meeting up at the BAU, but we'll pick you up on the way. Figure about twenty minutes."

"Yeah, okay." He hangs up, shoving his phone into his pocket, before finally looking up at Nathan.

"Another case?" the teen asks quietly.

"The same one, actually," Spencer says, shoving his hair behind his ears. It's always getting in his face, but he never really feels like going to get it cut. "This doesn't happen often. Getting called back in within hours of getting back from another case, I mean. Even the weekends are left alone unless it's a _really_ bad one. This one is, ah, one of those."

Nathan nods. "Any idea when you'll be back?"

"A case like this? I have no idea."

Nathan nods. "Do you need a ride back?"

"No, they're gonna get me on the way to the jet."

"Then…any help packing?"

"Yeah, if you want. Better hurry, though. We have about twenty minutes."

They manage to throw together a tiny suitcase and get anything that Spencer lugs around in his satchel put together in only seven.

"You know what you need?" Nathan says as he's standing in the doorway to head out before Spencer's team shows up.

Spencer raises both his eyebrows in question. "A dog?"

"No, I hate dogs. You need a _hair tie_."

Spencer snorts. "No, I just need to cut it."

"It looks fine how it is, I just noticed that you push it back a lot. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? I won't suggest a specific time or night."

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line. "I really am sorry, Nathan."

The other man smiles and rolls his eyes. "It's fine, Spence. Call me." And then…

Nathan is already walking down the hall before Spencer realizes what just happened. Nathan kissed him goodbye. On the cheek, just to the side of his mouth.

He shakes his head back and forth and leans out of the door. "Nathan, wai—" But the teens head is just disappearing down the stairs, gone. Spencer stares after him for a while before leaning against his door frame. "Just like when we first met…" he muses.

Spencer has no idea what he's supposed to do with…with…what just happened. What to say or think, either. Does he tell anyone or keep it to himself? Does he call Nathan when he gets back or delete his number? Spencer doesn't know. He's not used to these things. It was supposed to be a sci-fi adventure with pizza, but it turned into lots of talking and a kiss on the cheek. He has to tell someone. But…but who? Who will be okay with it enough to talk to him? Spencer knows one: Jason Gideon. But Jason is long gone. Spencer can't talk to him. He's got to choose somebody else…

**XxX**

"Hey there, pretty boy."

Spencer looks up from his book on his spot on the jet coming back from Oregon to see Derek plopping down beside him, his big headphones dropped around his neck.

"Hey," Spencer says to him.

"Don't give me that 'hey' crap, kid. Something is up with you."

Spencer frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You were unusually quiet for the whole case. I know we didn't get much sleep, but that's still not the Reid I know. You're mouth is movin' a mile a minute no matter _how_ many hours of sleep you've gotten. Did something happen with you and Nathan?"

Spencer frowns to hide his panic. He hasn't told anyone about the kiss yet. "What does _that_ mean?"

"I'm asking if you talked about his hospitalization."

Spencer shrugs, relaxing. "Yeah, but I don't see how that's important."

"He went through a lot, Reid. It's okay to feel for the kid. And you stopped him from _suicide_. It's okay to worry about him, too."

Spencer stares at him. "I do both," he says quietly.

Derek gives him a warm smile. "And that's okay. You get some rest, alright?"

He stands to go back to his seat with everybody else on the other side of the jet, but Spencer just can't help it anymore. It's eating him up inside. It he can't tell Jason then he'll just go with Derek. He was the one that Spencer told about Lila, after all.

"Hey, Morgan?"

Derek sits right back down. "Oh, I know _that_ tone. You better tell me what's up, kid."

Spencer takes a deep breath. "Did you know that… Well, no, I guess you wouldn't."

"Know what?"

"He was over before I got picked up and he…he kissed me goodbye."

Derek blinks a lot. "You mean Nathan?"

Spencer nods, looking away. "Right here." He taps the spot on his cheek. "I…I don't know what to do."

Derek is silent for a long while before finally speaking again: "Are you asking me for advice? Because I don't do guys. If I were you I'd run."

Spencer purses his lips and frowns up at him. "If you're just going to make fun of me then go away."

"Hey now, I wasn't making fun. I'm trying to come to grips with the idea myself. If you want him, Reid, then go for him. Don't do it if you're going to back out, though. That kid is fragile."

Emily is suddenly sitting down across from them. "I know I shouldn't be butting in," she says, "but Morgan, Reid looks like he's going to gut you if you keep talking."

Derek smiles and reaches out to ruffle at Spencer's hair. "Talk to Prentiss, pretty boy. She's probably a lot better help with what's troubling you than I am." He puts his headphones on and walks away.

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line and looks over at Emily, who gives him a warm smile.

"Let me guess," she says. "Nathan."

Spencer nods. "Not what you'd expect, though."

"Actually, you're really loud and we all heard exactly what you said."

Spencer doesn't believe her until he looks over at the other end of the het to see that all of JJ, Penelope, David, and Aaron—yes, even the boss—are looking over at them and nodding. Penelope has a big smile, JJ's is smaller but just as genuine, and Aaron looks how angry he always does (Spencer is glad he's figured out how angry he has to look to actually _be_ angry).

"Oh," he says quietly, looking down at his book. He hasn't turned more than seven pages in three hours. "Sure we weren't easier to hear because you were just eavesdropping?"

She breathes a laugh. "Well, maybe a bit of that, too." Spencer looks up at her and she continues: "Morgan is right, Reid. You've been quiet. We were concerned for you. He's also right about going for him if you want to, but not if you're going to back out. I was there with you when you held his wrists, and you either need to kiss him back or tell him that it's not going to work out like that."

Spencer purses his lips, glaring up at the ceiling. "I don't know which one I should _do_, though."

"I _think_ you should kiss him back."

Spencer frowns down at her. "Why?"

"It's the way you look at him," JJ says from across the plane. "Why do you think I was talking to you?"

Spencer raises both eyebrows. "Really?"

Penelope gives an exaggerated sigh. "Reid, darling, you are _so_ oblivious. We knew he had a crush on you before any of this and he's only been around for a few days. _I_ knew and I'm not even a profiler!"

"No, you're a woman," Aaron says as he's scanning his own book.

"Ex_actly_!" she says, throwing her arms up and almost splashing JJ with her drink.

JJ gives a good natured eye roll. "I agree with Emily, Spence. Single as she is, she knows exactly what to do in relationships."

"Hey!" Emily says. "I've dated people before!"

D laughs, pulling his headphones down. "Now _this_ I gotta hear."

The topic is instantly switched to previous relationships of everyone on the plane, and Spencer is pretty sure that he's not going to get anymore advice on the Nathan matter. He's not sure if he needs anymore, though. Not many words were said, but they were all the words he needed. He'll just take the rest of the night to think it through. Half of his time is spent thinking about work and the other half has been thinking about Nathan anyway, so it's not like it's going to take longer than tonight.

**XxX**

When Spencer is dropped off, he's completely surprise to see that Jeffery's car is parked out front. Nathan doesn't have a key, so however long he's been here he's just been…waiting. They were only gone for the one Friday night, so…

He takes a deep breath before he lets himself panic, but it's hard. What is he doing back here? Spencer doesn't know what he's decided yet! He fell asleep on the plane and didn't get to think about it anymore! He's going to get right back in the car and… No. He's going to take another deep breath and go in the opposite direction of the car. He has to do this.

Just as he suspected, Nathan is outside of his door, his lips pressed into a tight line as he leans against the wall on the other side of the door from the stairs. Spencer just stands at the top of the stairs for a while, trying to figure out the feeling he has in his stomach. Butterflies? That means he's nervous. Of course he's nervous.

He finally swallows and walks over to him, sticking his key into the lock of his door.

"Come on in," he says quietly as he pushes it open.

Nathan follows him in, kicking the door shut behind him and shuffling around until he ends up leaning against the window that Spencer always has the curtains closed over.

"So, uh…hey," Spencer says, leaning against the couch.

"I came here to apologize," Nathan says right away.

Spencer tries to talk and realizes nothing is coming out, so he clears his throat before trying again. "No, it's…it's fine," he manages. "It's fine."

Nathan sighs. "No, it's not." He turns around and rests his head against the window curtains. "I shouldn't have… I don't even know why I did it. It just happened."

Spencer presses his lips into a tight line and shuffles over to him, dropping his bag on the way to leaning against the wall beside him. "It _is_ fine, Nathan. I promise."

Nathan looks over at him with a confused expression. "Are you… Are you smiling?"

Spencer realizes he is, but he switches it to a soft line and looks away. He wasn't saying anything out loud, but his smile was _like_ talking. "I actually have no idea what I'm doing."

Nathan leans back on his heels, getting a better look at Spencer's face, who just swallows for the millionth time and tucks his hair behind his ears like he usually does. Nathan gives a very shy smile and steps over to the side, ultimately being just inches away form Spencer.

Spencer licks his lips, pushing the other side of his hair behind his ear.

"I'm really sorry," Nathan whispers. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but…" He smiles. "I'm glad I did."

He leans in and kisses Spencer softly. Lila was the only person that Spencer ever kissed. What is it with him and people in cases? He didn't want to put his hands on Lila's hips because she was just in a swimsuit, but now Nathan's hands are already on Spencer's, pulling them closer together. So Spencer reaches his arms up like he did before and just holds lightly to his face, relishing in the feeling of Nathan's skin under his fingers. This really wasn't how he planned for the night to go, but those butterflies… Well, he couldn't help but get it here somehow.

Nathan pushes him lightly against the wall, pressing every inch of themselves together. _This_ Spencer hasn't done before… Well, technically he hasn't done any of this since Nathan and Lila are of different sexes, but it's really the same concept. Spencer's never been one to decimate.

"Spencer," Nathan whispers, pulling his lips just far enough apart that they're still touching but no longer kissing. "I've never actually…been with anyone."

Spencer swallows. "I kissed someone once."

Nathan breathes a laugh, looking down. "I meant being _with_ someone."

Spencer miraculously understands what he means. He's usually not too good with "relationship lingo".

"On. No. I haven't either, I—"

Nathan kisses him again, short and sweet. "Don't start rambling on me, babe."

Spencer freezes a little. Nobody has ever called him that before. His only nicknames are "Spence", "kid", and "pretty boy."

"I just…don't want to make you uncomfortable," Nathan continues. "I'll know what makes me feel that way because I know what I'm feeling, but I just want to make sure I don't…go too far."

Spencer purses his lips. "I…don't know how far to… I've never done any of this before."

"Then you can't be afraid to tell me to stop."

Spencer nods.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

Nathan kisses him again, his hands gripping tighter to his waist. Spencer realizes his hands have dropped to his shoulders, so he lifts them back up, one hand slipping back to tangle in Nathan's hair. Nathan starts to lead them backwards (forward for Spencer), slowly as not to trip over each other, before they're bumping into the couch. Nathan turns them around and pushes Spencer down, crawling over him so that his hands are braced by his head, one leg is between his legs, and the other is on the edge of the couch. Spencer reaches up tentatively to his sides, and Nathan pushes his mouth open to slip his tongue inside. Spencer can't even remember being this hard with Lila. He aches for a touch. He can admit that. It's normal to be aroused in a situation as such. Spencer is normal, he's just…smarter. Okay, so he's not normal, but he still has normal feelings.

He gets his wish when Nathan shifts himself around until he can straddle Spencer's lap, pushing up to sit and bringing Spencer into the position in the process. He kisses him on the mouth before trailing kisses down his cheek and to his neck.

"You wear so many layers," he says, nibbling at Spencer's earlobe.

Spencer realizes how heavily he's breathing, but he doesn't care. Nathan is moving just enough against him… "I get cold sometimes."

"Are you cold now?"

Spencer shakes his head no.

"Good." Both of Nathan's hands slide down his chest until they can finger the hemline. "Your tie. Off."

Spencer goes straight to it, untying it and dropping it on the rug.

Nathan smiles and pushes his hands up the bare skin of Spencer's stomach, pulling the shirts up in the process. They come off easy, dropping down with his tie. Nathan drops his hands to his own shirt, and Spencer finds himself helping push it up to get it over his head. Nathan pushes them back down on the couch after that, trailing his hands softly down Spencer's chest as he kisses him. It's a deep kiss, giving and taking every bit of passion within them both.

When Nathan's hands stop trailing they're at the top of Spencer's jeans, and a couple of fingers slip just inside.

"Nathan," Spencer breathes, his arms around the teens waist to splay his fingers over his back. "Nathan, I—"

Nathan instantly pulls his fingers away. "Too far?" he asks.

"No," Spencer says, trying to calm his breathing. "No. Farther. I…I want you. I think I—"

Nathan kisses him again, his hands going straight to the button and zipper of Spencer's jeans.

"Lift your hips," the teen breathes.

Spencer does, loving the way that Nathan kisses him again before leaning back to pull his jeans off. He feels somewhat exposed in just boxers, but Nathan fixes that when he goes to take his own jeans off before settling back over him. Spencer gasps lightly at the pressure through thinner fabric, and he feels Nathan smile against his mouth.

"Do you want to move to the bed?" the other man asks.

Spencer nods, letting Nathan pull him up and lead him back to the bedroom. They both shove all of his clothes and books off of the bed before crawling on, Nathan now on his back and Spencer swallowing hard so he doesn't mess up lying on top of him. The blankets lie strewn and forgotten. Spencer is hot enough as it is.

Spencer lets his hands roam over Nathan's chest and stomach and sides and arms, never ever wanting to stop. Before, on the couch, they were both mostly quiet except for breathing and the occasional gasp, but there is just something about being "safe" in a bedroom that allows for a better vocal cord usage. Spencer loves the sounds of Nathan's breathy moans beneath him as he touches him, both of their bodies so _alive_.

He trails kisses down Nathan's jaw line and to his neck, sucking lightly at his skin. He knows _how_ to be with someone (he's read enough books, so he _better_ know; he's read for all sexual orientations, including those that don't or can't apply to him), he's just…nervous still. What if he messes up? What if he hurts Nathan? He'd feel terrible, even if it was only for a split second and Nathan instantly forgot about it.

"You know what _you_ probably don't have?" Nathan suddenly asks.

Spencer pulls away from his neck with a cocked eyebrow. "What?"

"Condoms and lube. I've got the former, but do you have any Vaseline lying around?"

"Actually, Vaseline isn't good to use if condoms are involved because it starts to eat away at the latex. Also a few Vaseline products use petroleum jelly, which has been reported to cause cancer and—"

Nathan pulls Spencer down for a deep kiss before pushing him away again. "Much as I love hearing random facts about Vaseline…" he hints.

Spencer presses his lips into a soft line. "I'm about to have sex for the first time and I'm talking about petroleum jelly. I am pathetic."

Nathan smiles. "I think it's adorable."

Spencer gives a good natured eye roll as he crawls off the bed. "Thanks. I have some lotion that will be safe to use, I just have to find it."

Nathan nods, swinging off as well. "The condom is in my wallet."

"Oh, you shouldn't keep those there. Being that close to a warm body will eventually stretch out the latex and they can become less effective."

Nathan smirks and shakes his head. "The lotion, babe."

Another soft line. "Right. Lotion. Going." Well, so much for being able to hold his tongue around the man.

He comes out of the bedroom's bathroom a few minutes later, muttering the bottle's contents to himself to double check that it's the safe one.

"Got it?" Nathan asks, already back in the bed.

Spencer nods, continuing to look down as he crawls back on. "There are a lot of ingredients that most people would ignore and then possibly end up with minor problems, but I'd rather not take the risk and just keep us both safe."

"So nice of you."

Spencer glances up at him for a split second before looking back at the bottle, but then he finds himself doing a very slow double take. Nathan is out of his boxers, his cock hard and resting against his stomach, and Spencer has never in his life been seen a more intense, lust-filled pair of bedroom eyes.

Nathan leans forward to close the space between them, kissing him soft and hard and deep all at once. Spencer barely even realized that he drops the lotion beside them. Nathan wraps his arms around Spencer neck and pulls him forward until Spencer is this time straddling him, letting out another breathy moan as they grind against each other.

"I want you, Spence," he whispers against his mouth as they kiss. "I want you inside of me."

Spencer breathes out his own moan at the thought, his hands tracing over the planes of Nathan's chest.

"Off," Nathan says huskily, one hand coming down to tug at the front elastic of Spencer's boxers. "I need to see you. Feel you."

They shift around to get his underwear off, but Nathan instantly pulls him back. He breathes a laugh. "You're so light." But he's kissing Spencer before he can reply, and suddenly a hand is brushing around his cock and Spencer is gasping into Nathan's open mouth. He moans hard as Nathan's hand moves slowly up and down, never wanting the feeling to end. But Nathan does eventually drop his hand, and Spencer keeps back any sounds of protest. The other man holds the lotion up, his eyes black with lust.

"You have to stretch me, Spence," he says.

Spencer nods, taking the lotion. He knows that. He certainly doesn't want to hurt Nathan, and this is the best way to make sure he doesn't.

They shift around again so that Nathan can get on his hands and knees like he was on the couch, except now Spencer has a full view of a naked ass and he's coating two of his fingers with lotion. It's a good thing he finally got his nails cut a couple days ago… He runs a dry hand over Nathan's skin, smiling at the way that the other man moans even at that. He slides his hand down to hold onto his thigh before reaching up with his slicked fingers, tracing lightly at the entrance as a sort of warning. He pushes in one finger at a time, listening closely to Nathan's sounds to make sure he's comfortable the entire time.

The other man pulls away eventually, wordlessly declaring that he feels he's stretched enough. He rolls onto his back and stares up at Spencer with those black eyes, and Spencer can't help but bend down and kiss him. Nathan tangles his fingers into his hair, and Spencer tugs at himself a couple of times to make sure he's absolutely as hard as he can be.

"Whe-where's the condom?" he asks as he leans up, breathing heavy.

Nathan digs through the blankets a little before pulling it out, handing him the lotion as well.

Spencer may know about zero about relationships, but that didn't stop him from buying a box of condoms when he was seventeen just to figure out how they worked. It's been a few years, but it's not that hard to forget how to roll already lubed latex over yourself. He slicks it even more with lotion, though, because he knows that men aren't like women in which they can create their _own_ "lubrication". It's actually quite fascinating, really; the specific fluid contains all of water, pyridine, squalene, urea, Acetic acid, lactic acid, ketones, aldehydes, and complex alcohols and glycols. It's slight acidic consistency can increase with certain STD's, and… Spencer presses his lips into a soft line even though he's not talking out loud. No matter what he's doing his mind rambles. He knows that. He just didn't expect that that would still stand during what's about to be his virginity loss.

When he looks back up at Nathan, he's suddenly hit with a gut feeling of the past. Nathan used to be so small, and he used to feel so broken. He had porn magazines with pictures of mutilated skin taped over them. And now… Now he's better, and he's happy. Because Spencer knows what it's like to be terrified of yourself, and he also knows what it's like to conquer that fear.

"Are you ready?" he asks quietly. Not as quiet as he wanted to, but the thought hit him harder than he wanted it to, too.

Nathan smiles and nods, lifting both legs up to put over Spencer's shoulders. Spencer takes a deep breath and positions his length against him, waiting until Nathan is relaxed before finally pushing in.

He goes slow, careful to watch Nathan's face for ay signs of pain or other discomfort. He only has to correct his angle once before he's all the way in, and Nathan holds him there to kiss him for a moment.

"Kay," he breathes. "Kay, go. Keep moving."

Spencer nods and pulls out slowly, just far enough that he doesn't slip out. It feels…god, better than anything. Nearly twenty-seven years old and Spencer's never done this before—and he's okay with that. He knows it would have been good with Lila, too, but he never saw her again (though they did talk on the phone a couple of times; she has a closer boyfriend now), so nothing could have come of that. Nathan specifically sought him out, and though Spencer didn't know that _this_ was going to happen, it did, and now he's… He's happy. He's with somebody. For the first time in his life he's really with somebody. No one he's scared to talk about, no matter that it means people will see him as a homosexual. He already knows that his friends are okay with it, even _if_ Nathan is from an old case. Spencer doesn't care if he is, though. He just wants Nathan forever. It sounds irrational even thinking about it, but even a genius can want to fall in love. He's just glad that Nathan is okay with catching him.

Nathan suddenly cries out, and Spencer freezes.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks frantically.

"No, no," Nathan says around his heavy breathing. "It felt good. It was the…the…"

"Prostate," Spencer finishes, knowing exactly what he means.

Nathan nods, and Spencer starts moving again, doing whatever he can to do exactly what he did before. Nathan's legs have moved to wrap around his waist now, moving their hips in sync.

"Spence, I—" Nathan breathes around moans. "I—I'm go—" He cries out as he climaxes, coating his and Spencer's stomachs.

The combinations of the new sensations, the sight of how beautiful Nathan is, and the sounds of how Nathan is moaning incoherently beneath him pulls Spencer over as well, and he finds that Nathan's name is mixed in with his own cries.

He drops his forehead to Nathan's shoulder and his arms to his elbows, allowing their breathing to slow. When it does, Nathan drops his legs and Spencer pulls out of him softly, pulling off the condom to drop it into the little trashcan by his bed. He drops down on his side beside Nathan, and Nathan right away goes into Spencer's arms and kisses him. Spencer melts against him (the relaxed muscles help with that), one hand resting against the side of his face and the other going over the top of his head to push into his hair. Nathan pushes one arm under Spencer's side and drapes the other over him, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist to keep them together. They eventually pull away from the kiss and just hold each other, Spencer's chin tilted up and Nathan's face buried against his neck.

"Spence?" Nathan says quietly at length.

"Mmm?" Spencer replies.

"Can I stay over tonight?"

Spencer smiles, playing lightly with his hair. "You can stay for breakfast, too."

Nathan hums happily and kisses his neck, but very soon he's twitching like people do when they're about to fall asleep. Spencer reaches around and gets the blankets up and over them, not caring that the living room light is still on but glad that they never got to turning on the bedroom one so they can fall asleep in the dark.

And for the first time in his life, instead of spending ages trying to fall asleep with a million and one words buzzing around in his head, Spencer sleeps easy with only three: "warm", "happy", and "Nathan".

_**-The End-**_


End file.
